One DROP for day - 9

I hate feel pain. I hate to have explain how my pain is. All kind of pain is like a type of death. [Pain killer]. Pain in your soul or pain in your heart are also a kind of small deaths. I have physical pain. At least, you can take medicines. But you can die slowly as well. You lose your energy. Your dignity. Your vitality. I’m taking a lot of a kind of morphine, but my sciatic nerve is still pain and needle. I don’t know, but, I think I’m getting old. “Old woman”, in fact! And I’m worried about that. I’m always strong. No sickness, nothing. What happening with me? I don’t wanna die! I don’t wanna die slowly. I’ve already died with other “small deaths”. It was enough. I don’t wanna more it. My husband laughs and this concern has become a joke! How? I don’t know... He only repeats: “do you think I’m going to die?” with his loose laughter. But I’m serious. I don’t wanna to die.

And was because the pain, I’m off. Yesterday I tried to work but was terrible. Tomorrow I’m going to school; I’ll try, at least. And I’ll can! I need to feel me better, my God. I want to feel me better! Well, was because the pain I was at home and I could to talk with my two best friends in Brazil and with my mother-in-law (I discovered that I really need to talk to her because I feel calm and loved). I also was all the time in Internet, searching new Brazilians blogs and I discovered a lot of interesting blogs!!!! And I was looking for Brazilians agencies to apply for a position when I come back to Brazil; I updated my Facebook, my blog, my fotolog, created an account on Flickr. And (Ufa!) I discovered that I really like Internet. In fact, I’m discovering a new way to use their tools...

(I know, I’m always slow and late...). But,


The best was that the time flown.


The best was that I talked to loved people.


And the best was that I discovered that I love my life. I love walk, eat and to see the sun. Small things that I want it back.




** “A drop for day” is my new series for my writing about my new life in Australia. (I have been living here since June, 27 – exactly 3 months later I got married in Brazil). And I decide to write in English. Please, my dear, a lot of mistakes will appear but I really want to practice my English and, write, how my teacher says, it is the best way to improve it. [I accept corrections if someone is reading me. I’m not sure if anyone reads my writing...].